Change Is Good, Right?

September 8, 2011 by  
Filed under Uncategorized

by Ruda Tovar

Five and a half years ago, my wife informed me she was pregnant. We had been married just over a year. We were young, we were in the midst of selling or giving away most of our belongings and were about three months away from moving across the world. As you may have guessed by now, we weren’t “trying,” but now, we were pregnant, expecting, with child. Everything was about to change.

Like all other things in life that are unexpected (which I’ve come to find out are most things), preparing yourself and your family for something as significant as childbirth might seem at the very least overwhelming.  I ran the emotional gamut, after all, who was I kidding? I wasn’t ready to be a dad, at least not now. I was ready to travel the world, thrive in my youth with my wife next to me, the two of us living a symphony of adventure and conquering obstacles together. Not now, not ever, no way.

As I stated, that was about five and a half years ago. Indeed much has changed with my life. We didn’t move across the world, we didn’t traverse the ends of the earth together, thriving in our youth as I selfishly thought. Instead we watched God, or the universe, or whatever you want to call it give us a miracle. My wife gave birth to a healthy baby boy on a dreary October morning, just in time for lunch, and the three of us haven’t really looked back. Yes, it has been hard, dealing with the unexpected, and I’m not even talking about the sleepless nights, and the incessant crying. You try to equip yourself with all the “right” tools to help with the all-too-often precarious task of raising a child. You can come to question all of the decisions made, regularly second-guessing your spouse and causing a whole other subset of emotional stress and tension. You make mistakes.

Why? Because, you care more about that little human, that tiny apprentice of life more than anyone or anything else on this planet. You push your feelings aside and just do it. You want that kid to have all the things you didn’t—emotional and material—and you make the effort because, well any parent can answer that.

One day I realized that those adventures and obstacles I thought I was going to conquer back in my days of ignorance and bliss, my wife and I were doing now. Only, we were doing (and not always succeeding) these things for the benefit or someone else—for that little guy who came along and changed all of our plans.

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