Get Back to Having Great Sex

by Joe Kita

No doubt you’d settle for mediocre or even crummy sex by now. But hang in there. Despite what she may have screamed repeatedly during delivery, she will allow you to touch her again. It’s nothing personal.

Rather, it’s largely a physical thing, says Robin Peavler, M.D. He explains that most women undergo an episiotomy to facilitate birth. This involves slicing the skin between the vagina and anus so the baby can exit easier. The area is then sewn back together (with some kindly doctors utilizing a deeper “daddy stitch” to make things tighter). As you can imagine, all this is to a woman’s undercarriage what the Allied barrage was to the beach at Normandy.

“So you need to give her time to heal,” says Dr. Peavler. “That can vary from a few weeks for women who had a fairly easy time of it to a few months for those who had a difficult delivery.”

Once the healing is complete, getting back to having great sex morphs into a challenge of a different sort: You need to make her feel sexy again. But this isn’t as difficult as it sounds. Odds are, there’s more love in your house now than ever before, so all you have to do is redirect a little toward yourself (you sly dog, you). Some ideas:

Let her rest. Get up to feed the baby at night, let her nap during the afternoon, do the laundry and shopping…. Fatigue is the biggest impediment to sex at this time.

Arrange a home-spa night. Wash her hair and massage her scalp. Women love that. And while you’re feeling kneady, massage her feet, too. It can trigger orgasm in some girls.

Surprise her with breakfast in bed. Grilled peaches, a little Greek yogurt, some rich coffee, followed by you(!) for dessert.

Buy a few roses and…carefully place the petals atop the ceiling fan in your bedroom. When she lies down, turn it on. Whisper that she’s blossomed into a wonderful mom and an even more beautiful woman….